Show Up and Shine: Confidence Tips for Salon Pros
Navigating the beauty industry can feel like a rollercoaster ride, especially for solo professionals and salon owners who need to juggle multiple roles every day. In this solo episode, I'm laying it all on the table as I tackle the challenge often felt between confidence and visibility. I reflect on how many of us, despite being skilled at our craft, might struggle with the some aspects of our profession like showcasing our work online or asserting our worth in client communications. It's a struggle that resonates with so many, and I’m here to shed light on it and offer a few words of advice.
I draw from personal experiences, including my journey through building the 'Confidently Visible' programme, which is designed to help salon professionals step into their power and showcase their uniqueness with confidence. We discuss the impact of mindset on everything from pricing strategies to handling client complaints. The truth is, confidence is a big component that influences how we conduct our business, yet it’s often neglected in our training. This episode invites listeners to explore their self-doubts and understand that confidence can and should be cultivated. I share tips and techniques, such as journaling achievements and practicing positive affirmations, which can help shift our internal dialogues toward a more empowering narrative.
We also dive into some of the emotional barriers that can hold us back like imposter syndrome, the need for perfection, and the fear of judgment from others. By addressing these issues directly, I hope to provide a better understanding of why confidence matters in our sector and how we can actively work to build it. The episode is both a personal reflection and a motivational call to action for salon professionals to embrace their journeys, acknowledge their worth, and ultimately, to become the confident faces of their brands. I hope to instil a sense of camaraderie among you, the listeners, reminding you that you are not alone in your struggles and that confidence is something we can all work on together.
Takeaways:
- Confidence isn't just a feeling; it's a skill that requires practice and self-reflection in our work.
- Many salon professionals struggle with self-doubt, especially when they step into the role of solopreneur; it's important to address this.
- Understanding the importance of visibility in our businesses can significantly change how clients perceive our value.
- Imposter syndrome and comparison-itis are common challenges, but recognising our achievements can help us overcome these hurdles.
- Setting boundaries with clients is essential for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and managing workload effectively.
- Building confidence is a journey, and practicing self-affirmation and mindfulness can lead to substantial personal growth.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Jena
- Carl Hinder - Salon Help
- Maddie Cook
- Sue Davies
- The Salon Inspector
Transcript
Welcome to Inspiring Salon Professionals.
Speaker A:The podcast that allows every therapist, nail tech and stylist to level up, build their career and reach for their dreams.
Speaker A:Each episode we'll be looking at a different area of the industry and along the way I'll be chatting with salon owners, industry leaders and experts who'll be sharing their stories on how they achieved their goals, made their successes, all to inspire you in your business and career.
Speaker A:I'm Sue Davies, your host, award winning salon owner and industry professional.
Speaker A:Welcome to Inspiring Salon Professionals.
Speaker A:Are you a solo beauty professional struggling to juggle everything from the endless client organizing, no shows, double bookings?
Speaker A:Or maybe find the thought of a website and building and maintaining it a little overwhelming?
Speaker A:If this sounds familiar, there's a solution built just for you, Jenner.
Speaker A:Jenner is an all in one app designed to make life easier for solo beauty pros just like you and me.
Speaker A:It takes care of your bookings, payments and even builds professional website for you.
Speaker A:And best of all, no tech skills needed.
Speaker A:No more client late night messaging, hidden fees or constant stress.
Speaker A:If you're ready to simplify your business and get your time back, check out Jenna today.
Speaker A:Find the link in the show notes and see how Jenna can transform the way you work.
Speaker A:Hi there and welcome to this week's Inspiring Selling Professionals.
Speaker A:You've only got me this week, so it'll be a fairly short episode because I'm, I am actually really, really busy.
Speaker A:Got loads of stuff on and I have recently launched visibility boosters which you, if you visit my website, you will find out all about.
Speaker A:But I'm doing a few of those and I have got loads of just general stuff going on that's keeping me busy.
Speaker A:We still got kitchen refit going on in my house and that's keeping me on my toes, oiling new worktops and all sorts of exciting things like that.
Speaker A:But I'm here today because I'm going to be talking to you about confidence, kind of behind the, the chair, the couch, the NOW desk, wherever it is that you work from mainly and about building a mindset for success.
Speaker A:It's something that we really don't focus on that much in the industry.
Speaker A:We focus a lot on what kind of skills we have and how well we do them and how many clients we've got and how we're going to deliver that service.
Speaker A:And every so much of what we do because we are a service industry, so much of what we do just comes back to us in how can I do that better?
Speaker A:But in actual fact, so much of it comes down to A mindset for success.
Speaker A:And since training last year, doing hypnotherapy, doing the control system that I do, and I've launched Confidently Visible program, which I've helped some, few, a few people go through that, just to get them out the other end and feeling more comfortable going online, feeling more comfortable being the face of their business because it's a big thing.
Speaker A:And as we grow as an industry of self employed and solopreneurs, this is becoming more of an issue.
Speaker A:And you see people all the time across socials that are kind of struggling with putting themselves out there.
Speaker A:And so I wanted to just take a moment this week to kind of reflect on that a little bit and just to talk about the fact that confidence is like, it's like the silent force behind everything you do and it influences everything that you do in your business.
Speaker A:It will influence your pricing, maybe how you talk to clients, how you deal with any complaints that you may receive, whether they're real complaints or people just trying it on.
Speaker A:It will help with your online visibility and overall, it will help with your business growth.
Speaker A:And as I was saying, many salon pros, you know your stuff, you know how to do your services really, really well.
Speaker A:That's what we've done our training for, it's what we've been to college for, it's what we base everything we do around.
Speaker A:But sometimes you can then feel a lack of confidence, bit of self doubt around some of the other stuff that comes with running a business.
Speaker A:And I've just been recording another podcast episode this morning that's going to come out next week.
Speaker A:And on there I mentioned something that the lovely Carl Hinder, business coach at the industry, said to me a while back when he was on the, the podcast and he was talking about how, how now in the industry we have so many solos and so many therapists, we don't necessarily have so many people opening salons currently, but we do have a lot of salons getting keys to their own rooms effectively and getting keys to their own business.
Speaker A:And when that happens, sometimes it can be thrust upon you a little bit or it can feel a bit, you know, like you've got no choice but to do that.
Speaker A:And so what we're going to talk about today is just kind of, you know, how can you get beyond that and what is it that is going to help you be more successful in creating and growing your business?
Speaker A:So just let's have a little look at the.
Speaker A:Confidence is more than a feeling.
Speaker A:It is actually something that you need to practice and without Practice, you feel less confident about being confident.
Speaker A:A lot of people often say to me, you know, that I'm.
Speaker A:I come across as super confident, but let me tell you, I'm not always super confident.
Speaker A:So, like when I'm doing a podcast now, you have super confident, don't have to bat an eyelid doing it.
Speaker A:But if you could have seen me on the first episode when I didn't know what I was doing and my lovely friend Donna Clayton came on, and I didn't want to press the recall button because I didn't want to start recording and I didn't want to be the fate.
Speaker A:Although I wanted to do it, I didn't really want to be the face of it.
Speaker A:But it took probably 20 episodes for me to actually get a bit more comfortable and maybe even the first season to really kind of get there.
Speaker A:And by the time I came back for season two, I was actually, now I can do this.
Speaker A:And now I literally do not bat an eyelid.
Speaker A:I literally get on stick garageband on if I'm doing it on my own stick, zoom on if I'm doing it with somebody else.
Speaker A:And off we go.
Speaker A:There's just.
Speaker A:It's just a conversation.
Speaker A:That's all it is.
Speaker A:And for me now, this conversation I'm having is actually with my blue yeti mic.
Speaker A:I'm sitting looking out of my window.
Speaker A:I'm in my mobile home on my carrot and my garden.
Speaker A:I've got Dodger the dog sitting on the sofa a little bit along for me.
Speaker A:And I'm just sitting out looking out over my garden, properly relaxed.
Speaker A:And that's how you should feel in your business.
Speaker A:You shouldn't need to feel anxious, concerned, overwhelmed by anything that you need to do in your business.
Speaker A:And that comes with time.
Speaker A:It comes with practice and a skill.
Speaker A:Understanding that, that being confident is a bit of a skill that you have to kind of talk to yourself a little bit about how you're showing up and what you're doing.
Speaker A:So as I say, the energy you bring and how you show up can change how you feel about yourself, but also it can change how your clients perceive your value.
Speaker A:And that's where it kind of comes into all of the other things around running your business and like how you price and how you treat your clients and how your clients treat you.
Speaker A:So when confidence does show up or maybe doesn't show up, what kind of things can.
Speaker A:Can go amiss or go well?
Speaker A:So charging your worth is one of them.
Speaker A:And we see time and time again people coming out of training, out of education, being unsure of themselves, not feeling necessarily the most confident in the services they're providing because they're still honing their craft, which is normal.
Speaker A:And that's what's supposed to happen.
Speaker A:You are supposed to not be perfect when you finish your training.
Speaker A:Like that is the biggest thing I think any professional therapist, stylist, technician, in any form of treatments that we offer in this industry, when you finish your training, you're not going to be perfect.
Speaker A:If you are, then you must be an absolute genius.
Speaker A:I know I've been doing what I do for a really long time and I still make mistakes.
Speaker A:I was doing a massage other day and I realized as I got to the second leg that I'd done it completely differently to the first leg.
Speaker A:I'd done something quite particular on the first leg that I'd intended to do on the second.
Speaker A:Completely forgot.
Speaker A:Did the client notice?
Speaker A:Probably not.
Speaker A:She might have done.
Speaker A:But do you know, I'm that confident in what I do now that I'm not concerned.
Speaker A:She still had an amazing treatment, she still has rebooked and is coming back.
Speaker A:And yes, it wasn't perfect, it wasn't completely synchronized on both sides of her body.
Speaker A:However, in the scheme of things, no one got hurt, nobody died, and it's all okay.
Speaker A:And that whole thing around charging your worth when you come out of training is important.
Speaker A:You should charge according to how much you need to earn.
Speaker A:The bigger money comes as you grow your practice and how.
Speaker A:As you grow your skill and your confidence in that skill.
Speaker A:So charge your minimum value of what you need to take home when you come out of training.
Speaker A:Don't go and charge 10 pound for a set of nails because that's not realistic.
Speaker A:But charge your base level, work out what you need to earn.
Speaker A:There's whole, there's a whole load of systems out there that you can go and do.
Speaker A:Got Carl Hinders and Maddie Cooks.
Speaker A:They both have got amazing systems for working out how to charge your.
Speaker A:How to charge your pricing.
Speaker A:So go look at that kind of thing.
Speaker A:I can help you with that too.
Speaker A:I've got.
Speaker A:I do have a big spreadsheet I used to use, which I really ought to make into something and sell, but I haven't as of yet.
Speaker A:But I can always help you with a list of all the different things you need to bring into that equation.
Speaker A:Confidence also comes into knowing your products.
Speaker A:And once you know your products, you know what you can retail and also if there's other services that may benefit your client and doing that with confidence, you know, actually Telling them, you know, like the client I've just been talking about, she came in and she had a full body aromatherapy massage with me, prescribed oils because I'm a prescribing aromatherapist.
Speaker A:And at the end of the treatment we had a really long conversation about how that had felt for her, what she wanted to do, what her outcomes are for the future that she requires.
Speaker A:And so now she's booked in to have Lava Shell with me because she actually, although the aromatherapy was lovely and she really needed to relax, she actually decided she wants to work her muscles a little bit more.
Speaker A:So I've got something else up my sleeve that I know is going to be able to help her.
Speaker A:So I've been able to upsell her into that treatment because I'm confident at what I do.
Speaker A:And once you grow that confidence in understanding your clients needs, requirements and outcomes and what features, advantages and benefits your services and your treat, your products have, you will be able to bring that to those people.
Speaker A:And so it, it, this all stems, you know, if you don't have the confidence in what you're doing, you're just going to let that client go and just, you know, like if I, if I wasn't confident about what I do when I realized after that and also during that treatment, I had my iPad in the room and I'd forgotten to turn the volume down on it.
Speaker A:I forget that it doesn't have a silent button and I actually have to turn the volume down.
Speaker A:If anyone knows how to do that on an iPad, I cannot work out where the silent button is.
Speaker A:I'm sure my old iPad had one anyway.
Speaker A:I transgress.
Speaker A:Digress.
Speaker A:Even I can't get my words right today, can I?
Speaker A:However, so in that treatment I felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket which was on silent and then my iPad started playing because somebody, I think it was somebody, I don't know who, somebody rang me on messenger and, and I couldn't turn it off and I was mid treatment.
Speaker A:So what'd you do?
Speaker A:Just like there's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker A:I said to, I'm really sorry, I'll immediately turn that off.
Speaker A:And I mean she, and as I say, she was fine.
Speaker A:But I managed the situation, I didn't panic because there's nothing I can do at that point.
Speaker A:It's happened.
Speaker A:You can't make it not happen.
Speaker A:And you, and now all you can do is prevent it from happening again.
Speaker A:So anyway, it was within reach.
Speaker A:So I, I'd literally reach for the volume Button.
Speaker A:But again, it hasn't stopped her rebooking because I dealt with it professionally.
Speaker A:I apologized, and we moved on, and I carried on with her treatment.
Speaker A:So it's all these little things, and it does come with experience, and it does come with time in the industry, and it does come with understanding how you build rapport with clients.
Speaker A:And there's so much to it, as we all know.
Speaker A:And if you've been in industry forever and you're listening to this, you will know exactly what I'm talking about and you will resonate with this.
Speaker A:If you are newer to, you are possibly still sitting there thinking, oh, my God, what would I have done?
Speaker A:Oh, if that had happened to me, I would have nearly passed out.
Speaker A:I would have.
Speaker A:I would have started sweating and panicking and whatever.
Speaker A:But, you know, you know, we're all human, and I think it helps to create that rapport and that humanity with a client before you start the treatment.
Speaker A:You know, I know with this particular client, she was new to me.
Speaker A:She came to me for very specific reasons, and because my online visibility is good, she could see exactly what I offered, and she picked me because of what I had on my website and the experience that she knew I would bring to her treatment.
Speaker A:So I was.
Speaker A:I was ahead of the game before she even walked through my door.
Speaker A:And I think, you know, when your clients understand your messaging clearly and well, because you put that online confidently, then that really helps, too.
Speaker A:So one of the other things that is an issue for people that are lacking in confidence around building their business is the whole, like, let's just talk about it going live, whether it's on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, it can be a challenge.
Speaker A:I mean, you can go live on YouTube as well.
Speaker A:But most of our industry choose not to go on YouTube for some reason, even though it's one of the biggest search engines.
Speaker A:But it's another thing for another day.
Speaker A:But that whole showing up on your Facebook or your other socials and being the face of your business, personal branding, we know especially with what we do, it gets attention more.
Speaker A:And if you are not comfortable, whether that.
Speaker A:Whether you're just not comfortable in your own skin or whether you're not comfortable being online and having people see you or hear your voice or see what you look like, or is your hair wrong today?
Speaker A:Is your makeup right?
Speaker A:And I've got the right color lipstick on, Are my nails done?
Speaker A:Have got the right uniform on.
Speaker A:There's so many things that go through our minds.
Speaker A:What's in my backdrop?
Speaker A:What possibly could people See around me, think about me, talk about me, say about me, talk to their friends about me.
Speaker A:These are all things that go through so many people's minds.
Speaker A:In reality, a lot of people are just going to scroll by, they're not going to pay you any attention whatsoever.
Speaker A:Which is kind of a bit demolished, demoralizing really, because the whole point of you going on there is that people pay attention to you.
Speaker A:But in the scheme of things, people don't.
Speaker A:People's attention span is limited.
Speaker A:And I know, I mean I do, I do lives.
Speaker A:Sometimes when I'm out in the forest, sometimes in my garden, I might do a live and often I might get one or two people looking here I've got like 370 something people fort nearly 400 people in my Facebook group.
Speaker A:Do any of them come to my lives?
Speaker A:Probably not.
Speaker A:Don't even watch them?
Speaker A:Probably not.
Speaker A:But if anyone does want to watch them, if I connect with one person, five people, it's still a connection and it must.
Speaker A:And whatever it is I say might help them.
Speaker A:They might listen to 30 seconds of it, they might listen to six minutes of it.
Speaker A:If I do a longer video, who knows.
Speaker A:But the fact is, is that I'm out there showing up and that's what's important.
Speaker A:And doing that as you and as the person you are, the people that come to your salon or to your home business or your, that you go to as a mobile, they all choose you because they like you.
Speaker A:So what's to say that all those other people out there that are in Facebook or Instagram world aren't going to like you too?
Speaker A:Yes, we can have an issue with trolling, but there's also a block bum and reporting and all those kinds of things.
Speaker A:And I'm not trying to trivialize it.
Speaker A:Online bullying and trolling is a horrible, horrible thing to experience.
Speaker A:I know many people that have gone through it and it is truly awful.
Speaker A:But that is unusual and it is rare for people to do, especially for clienty kind of people to do that.
Speaker A:Unless you've really upset somebody.
Speaker A:Maybe within industry it's more prevalent of people thinking that they know better than you.
Speaker A:And that seems to, there seems to be quite a lot of it going on at the moment.
Speaker A:I've seen some really awful stuff going on with someone I know recently and yeah, she's, she can be a challenging person, but it's no reason to publicly shame her.
Speaker A:And I just, I find that kind of behavior really, really difficult to be around.
Speaker A:As does everybody, I think.
Speaker A:You know, when you start seeing that Calling people out online, I don't know, I'm not going to get into it because it's a difficult subject, but I just want people to, just to not be so anxious over going online.
Speaker A:And as I say, I mean, I've got my confidently visible program that, that can help people.
Speaker A:So if you've got a fear of being seen in public, a fear of public speaking of what you're going to say and all that kind of stuff, you know, there's ways around it and I can help with that.
Speaker A:We can, you can go through my free session program and we can literally make that change to make you feel more confident.
Speaker A:We can switch off all those inner critic voices that are making you feel that you can't.
Speaker A:And it's something that you can really, really do.
Speaker A:It's something that's totally achievable.
Speaker A:You can check my website.
Speaker A:I've got like testimonials from people that have gone through that process with me and it really, really does help.
Speaker A:So if that's the kind of thing that's holding you back and holding back your confidence and making you feel less worthy, affecting your self esteem and potential business growth and so on, it's worth investing in you to get that resolved.
Speaker A:One of the other things that comes with confidence or lack of confidence is the ability to say no to clients and put your boundaries in place.
Speaker A:And I know even though I am confident in what I do sometimes I'll, I'll be overly flexible because I like people and I know that if they're having to, if they, if they've got a busier diary than mine and I wasn't due to work that afternoon and I'm free, I will work, but it's my choice.
Speaker A:I can say no.
Speaker A:And I do say no on occasion, like to that kind of stuff because I really work very, very few hours with clients as a therapist any longer.
Speaker A:And so I'm, I'm talking like a matter of hours a week.
Speaker A:And so if I can fit that in for somebody, I will.
Speaker A:However, if something I want to do is more important, I will never say yes to a client because if they want to book me, there's ways around it.
Speaker A:And it's always like, you know, one of the, one of the key questions you should always ask is never just say, you know what, when do you want your appointment?
Speaker A:You just tell them when you've got availability.
Speaker A:Just say, oh, if you're looking for an appointment, I have availability on Monday at 3, on Wednesday at 7, in the evening or whatever.
Speaker A:Give them three choices to work from because then you're not saying no to them.
Speaker A:You're providing a solution and giving them several options to pick from so that they feel like they've, they've had a win because you've, you've provided them with something that works in their diary.
Speaker A:And if that's a, if diary management is an issue for them, then that can be a really, really good way around it without you having to feel threatened that you're having to say no because you're giving, you're giving them something for them to say no to.
Speaker A:And that turning it around the other way can sometimes be really, really helpful.
Speaker A:One of the other things I just wanted to kind of COVID today is about mindset.
Speaker A:And this, and this does all feed into confidence.
Speaker A:And the things like the mindset issues that we have and the things that often stop us from going live online or from being more direct with clients is there's really probably four things that we're gonna, we're gonna just look at.
Speaker A:One is imposter syndrome comparisonitis, because we do that a lot on social media.
Speaker A:Perfectionism and a fear of failure or judgment from people.
Speaker A:And all of these things come from a place of fear.
Speaker A:Really nearly every negative thing that we have going in our heads comes from a place of fear.
Speaker A:And imposter syndrome is the fear that we aren't really good enough.
Speaker A:Are we pretending to be something we're not?
Speaker A:Are we going to be seen as being too big for our boots?
Speaker A:You know, is someone more experienced than me going to put me in my place?
Speaker A:And that's imposter syndrome.
Speaker A:It's something that many people struggle with.
Speaker A:I know that I have imposter syndrome at different points really does depend on what I'm doing.
Speaker A:But on occasion I can feel like a terrible imposter.
Speaker A:I've done some amazing things in my career.
Speaker A:I've won loads of awards.
Speaker A:I've done all sorts of magical things that have made me be a really well rounded and I think well thought of professional.
Speaker A:However, some days I feel like lurking in a corner because I think everyone's going to know that it's all made up and I haven't done any of it.
Speaker A:But obviously that's not true.
Speaker A:But some days it just feels that way and I think that we need to recognize that with that it's just human nature that you could, you are concerned but it's all, it's all fear of something that isn't necessarily real.
Speaker A:If you have got all of the certificates and all of the awards and everything.
Speaker A:Why shouldn't you be out there telling people about it?
Speaker A:An imposter syndrome really, really does just happen to so many people and it is rare that, you know, if you talk to some of the biggest, like corporate bosses and stuff like that, they're still going to experience moments of imposter syndrome.
Speaker A:And a really good tip for kind of overcoming this and just sort of reminding yourself of who you are and what you're about and where you've come from is to just sit, just grab a sheet of A4 paper and write down off the top of your head 20 achievements you've had in your business or in your career or in your life.
Speaker A:20 things.
Speaker A:Learning to walk, learning to play the violin, learning to become a beauty professional or hair professional or whatever sector of the industry you're in.
Speaker A:And then the different things, like, you know, you, you achieved a distinction in that, or you did that piece of cpd, or you made that client's day absolutely amazing.
Speaker A:You made that bride's wedding absolutely fantastic for her.
Speaker A:All those little things, just write 20 of them down and look on what you've done, look at what you've achieved, look at how much of an imposter you are not.
Speaker A:It's a really, really important thing.
Speaker A:And then when we look at kind of comparisonitis and perfectionism, if we look at those together, you know, we spend too much time on social media, way too much time on social media.
Speaker A:And when we do that and we go down the rabbit warren, rabbit hole, maybe a warren, depends how bad it gets.
Speaker A:But when you go down that rabbit hole and you start looking at other people's businesses and other people's worlds and they're putting out the.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, we had an amazing week and we did like, you know, this week.
Speaker A:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker A:Like, we took £2,000 this week.
Speaker A:I'm a solo professional at home and I took 2,000 pounds, like, okay, that's great.
Speaker A:Fantastic.
Speaker A:If they are.
Speaker A:But they may have been trading for five years.
Speaker A:They may be doing treatments that go way beyond what you offer and comparing yourself to other people and feeling bad about what you aren't doing.
Speaker A:And they are doing is never a good place to be because I get.
Speaker A:I bet you that they're not sitting online going around trying to find people that are not doing as well as they are to, to gloat over, because they're probably not.
Speaker A:They're probably really busy spending their £2,000.
Speaker A:So stop the comparison, because it isn't helpful.
Speaker A:Everybody's business is different.
Speaker A:Everybody's life is different.
Speaker A:It may be they earn £2,000 a week and they live at home with their parents, so that £2,000 could send them on amazing holidays.
Speaker A:But then you get the next therapist along the line that's actually like, she's 40 years old, she's only 2,000 pound a week, she's got four children and her husband's not working at the moment.
Speaker A:What's that £2,000 going to do for her?
Speaker A:That's going to be paying her rent, her bills, her food, is going to be putting her children in school uniform.
Speaker A:She's not going to have a lot left.
Speaker A:Is she going to be having such a glamorous life as the.
Speaker A:The 2,000pound a week person that's living at home?
Speaker A:It's like 25 years old and driving around in a very nice car that's on lease.
Speaker A:You know, you have to really view comparisonitis as what it is.
Speaker A:And perfectionism kind of comes off the back of that because we're trying to create that perfect world, get everything as it should be, but things are only as they should be when they're right for you.
Speaker A:And if.
Speaker A:And you can't get caught up in, in trying to live this perfect life all of the time and trying to get everything perfect before you deliver it, because life isn't always like that.
Speaker A:I have a bit of an issue with perfectionism.
Speaker A:I've got an issue with an awful lot of stuff, as you're discovering today.
Speaker A:But it's like, I don't like starting things unless I know I'm going to be able to finish them, which then causes me to procrastinate slightly because it's like, oh, actually, what.
Speaker A:So what have I got time to do?
Speaker A:Okay, now I'm going to think about what I've got time to do and I can go down that kind of rabbit hole quite easily.
Speaker A:And it's very, very easy for me to do that because I like how I like things being finished and like things being done, which causes me a lot of problems in my world, believe me.
Speaker A:Lastly, within that mindset thing, the fear of failure and judgment, again, we kind of come back to like that how people are going to look at you if you go live, what they're going to think, what they're going to say.
Speaker A:Just remember, go back and listen to the podcast I did with Howard Cooper and remember that all that fear of failure, fear of judgment stuff is you literally making up in your head because none of that has happened.
Speaker A:You don't know what's going to happen.
Speaker A:And you really are.
Speaker A:You're imagining and making stuff up.
Speaker A:Well, you, your subconscious is doing that to you.
Speaker A:And you, and you can turn that off.
Speaker A:You can, you can really literally work with someone like me or many other people and you can turn that stuff off.
Speaker A:It is possible.
Speaker A:You don't have to live with the fear of what everyone's going to think of you.
Speaker A:The fear of what everyone's going to say about you.
Speaker A:It isn't real because as I said earlier, most people aren't.
Speaker A:It sounds really awful, but most people aren't actually that interested.
Speaker A:They really, they.
Speaker A:Not that they don't care.
Speaker A:You know, many people around you obviously do deeply care about you, but they, but people in their day to day lives while social, while flicking through social media, aren't that bothered by whether your hair looks perfect.
Speaker A:Aren't that bothered by whether or not you said the right words in the right order all of the time.
Speaker A:Because we all resonate with each other as humans when we do that.
Speaker A:It's that I know today I've, I've messed up my words quite a lot today because I've, I've done a lot of talking today and clearly my brain is getting tired and so I tripped over my words a couple of times.
Speaker A:But do you know I'm gonna leave them in there in the edit because it's human and I want you to.
Speaker A:If you're listening and you feel that challenge to your anxiety levels when something like that happens, I'm just going to leave mine there because no one's going to die.
Speaker A:No one's going to get upset with me.
Speaker A:If you want to troll me over me slipping up over a word or two, then please feel that you can because I'll just block you because I'm not, I'm not, I'm not bothered by.
Speaker A:Doesn't matter in the scheme of things if you, if you make a mistake, it just shows you're human.
Speaker A:And especially at my age, it just shows that you're probably postmenopausal anyway.
Speaker A:So what can you do to kind of break away from this?
Speaker A:You know, there's lots of things you can do, like positive affirmations and just, you know, sticking.
Speaker A:It's a real classic nowadays.
Speaker A:I mean, I can remember when these things first sort of became a thing for like personal development, but stick that post it note on the mirror.
Speaker A:Tell yourself how fantastic you are every morning.
Speaker A:You can, you can journal and write it all out.
Speaker A:You can do mindfulness in so many different ways around this and, and Meditations and lots and lots of different things.
Speaker A:But really, really, you know, a lot of this stuff now we do with clients, and we do.
Speaker A:We do lots of sort of meditative stuff with clients, and we do lots of positive affirmations with people.
Speaker A:You know, especially if you work holistically, there's an awful lot of this that sort of floats through why, why you do it, but little.
Speaker A:Just journal prompts that you can include in your day if you.
Speaker A:If you like journaling, you know, what would I do today if I felt 10 out of 10 in confidence?
Speaker A:What would I do?
Speaker A:How would I live?
Speaker A:What would.
Speaker A:What would.
Speaker A:What would be the first thing that I would do if I felt really confident?
Speaker A:And just.
Speaker A:It gives you something to work towards.
Speaker A:And again, like, you know, that thing, you know, that evidence sheet that I was talking about?
Speaker A:You know, get that a four piece of paper, you know, the.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:You know, a journal prompt of what proof do I already have that I am good at what I do?
Speaker A:Look at that again.
Speaker A:Just go every day, write something on that list that you know you're good at.
Speaker A:And then also maybe consider what it is that you're holding back from and just sit with that for a moment and just see what pops up.
Speaker A:Because usually you'll get an internal little typewriter note coming up or whatever, whichever way your subconscious works.
Speaker A:But most likely, if you sit and think about what it is that you're holding back, there'll be something inside you that pops up and says, oh, it's that.
Speaker A:And it may be because of the fear of this or the fear of that or because I'm not good enough or.
Speaker A:But, you know, my salon down the road, they've been saying that, and I don't want to say the same thing.
Speaker A:There's going to be all sorts of different things.
Speaker A:So we have to remember that confidence is something that's built, especially after childhood.
Speaker A:In childhood, you have confidence abounding.
Speaker A:It's there from the moment you're born.
Speaker A:No, no one can tell you that you're.
Speaker A:That you can't do anything, because as a child, you are willing to try virtually everything.
Speaker A:You don't have a fear of your own mortality.
Speaker A:You don't have a fear of judgment.
Speaker A:You don't have any of those things.
Speaker A:I think sometimes we kind of as adults, we kind of forget those freedoms that we used to have.
Speaker A:So celebrate the small wins and celebrate the things that you do do well that you know that you do well.
Speaker A:And just keep practicing being confident.
Speaker A:You can't necessarily buy confidence, but what you can do is you can buy services that, that will make that change for you.
Speaker A:And with you it's, you know, you can't walk into a shop and buy a tub of confidence is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker A:So just think about something that is one thing that you're gonna do this week with confidence.
Speaker A:And then each time it's like you can't, you don't know what you don't know.
Speaker A:And the experience of being inexperienced is sometimes it's one, it's one of those things, isn't it?
Speaker A:If you, if you don't know what it feels like to be confident, then making one small step to do something confidently and then knowing what that feeling feels like, it gives you that it gives you.
Speaker A:As much as I'm saying don't compare.
Speaker A:Well, so it's said about don't compare, don't compare with other people, but you can compare your inner feelings of what it's like to feel the confidence and what it's like to not feel the confidence.
Speaker A:And once you've felt what that confidence is like, it's going to be something you want to experience again.
Speaker A:And the more you experience it, the easier it is to be more confident.
Speaker A:And that's the kind of the way that you need to move forward with it.
Speaker A:And the more confident you are in yourself and your being, the more confident you'll be as a professional, the more confident that you'll be as a business.
Speaker A:And if you are a solopreneur in the industry or a salon owner with teams, you know, that's all you need is to, is to be confident to your clients, to your team, to the people around you.
Speaker A:And if I can help you on that journey, then get in touch.
Speaker A:Check out the Confidently Visible program, check out the business visibility boosters, because that is all about kind of your online world.
Speaker A:And do really, really just try to make that list of all the things that you are amazing at because it's what's important.
Speaker A:Recognizing where you're great will help you become greater in other areas.
Speaker A:Anyway, that's enough for me for this week and I will catch up with you next time.
Speaker A:Bye for now.
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